Studio Files .06
Words for Anxiety. Let's be friends.
I’ve dealt with anxious thoughts most of my adult life, and if we’re being honest, likely my entire life. I know I am not alone in this, especially in a week so full of despair and grief, so today, I’m opening the curtain on my own journey.
Anxiety’s rose-colored cousins, otherwise known as perfectionism, people-pleasing, and master planner are badges I have worn with pride most of my life. They have served me well in art, work and relationships. Surprisingly, it turns out, all have a fairly close tie to anxiety.
The perpetual overthinking that accompanies anxiety and causes those who suffer to constantly be on high alert, is exhausting. Things like scanning rooms, faces, ideas, business plans, health symptoms, relationships, everyday life for the WORST CASE SCENARIO so that you can build a plan from there. What a way to go through life, constantly noticing and planning, noticing and planning, again and again.
In recent years, through a healthy dose of daily workouts, diet modifications, therapy, research, meditation, journaling, drugs as needed, I feel like I’ve mostly gotten a handle on how to live alongside my anxiety, as friends. A subtle shift in my thinking has me mostly viewing the anxious part of me as something to keep an eye on, dialing up or down a coping mechanism or triggering event as needed to keep it at bay. I now look at my anxious thoughts as something that has uniquely molded me into the ME I am today and credit it with some of the things I like best about myself.
My overthinking type A organized self is GREAT at managing and planning our home, lives, parties, trips.
My empathetic and intuitive self helps to connect with others, monitoring emotions of responses in those around me.
My desire for calm and ease as a way to manage my own stress and nervous energy creates a calm, beautiful and organized environment that soothes those around me.
My constant noticing is what makes spotting everyday beauty, and wanting to share it freely, come so easily to me.
My inquisitive nature leads me down all sorts of delightful rabbit holes of reading, travel and research.
Friends and loved ones often comment on what a calming and loving presence I have. This too, is a byproduct of my good friend anxiety. Outwardly calm, because of the inward practices I’m so committed to. Because I’ve lived most of my life with this, I’ve not only learned how to manage it - but to embrace it. Viewing it as an almost super-power.
I see anxious thinking as something that mostly serves me well - except when it doesn’t.
2025 is off to a magnificent start for introducing a spiral of doom-ridden anxious thinking. Kicking off the New Year with the New Orleans attack, watching as Southern California burns, President Carter’s memorial service and the political news coming out ahead of the inauguration - any one of these is enough to start a downward loop for most of us. Together, well, they’re almost incomprehensible in their impact. Their grief. Their ability to have us heading back to bed.
I know I’m not alone when I speak of dealing with anxious thinking. We are a people who has likely lived with some heightened form of anxiety since the beginning of time. Maybe more so in today’s never ending new cycle, always ready in the palm of our hands to lead us into a downward spiral of gloom and doom.
When this happens for me, it’s important that I look for the helpers.
And there are so many beautiful examples of helpers ALL around us, even amidst the heartbreak that comes with being human in today’s world.
A few helpers I’ve spotted or returned to in recent weeks.
The literal helpers. The global outpouring of support from first responders, non-profits and people rushing into crisis to find the best way that the can help. The best part of humanity shows up in beautiful and breathtaking ways, with so many visible signs peppering our screens and minds in the past week. Firefighters rescuing people, homes and photo albums. Mexico, Canada and South Africa sending reinforcements to support the front lines. People, often victims of the fire themselves, raising funds and gathering donations to help others in need. Looking for helpers, and better yet becoming a helper myself, is one of the best ways I know to cope with tragedy and bring a sense of hope back to the conversation. If you have the ability to donate, this is a great list of organizations to support the wildfire victims.
The creative helpers. As an artist, I’ve seen and felt the healing power of art significantly in my own life. Artists are feelers, able to turn grief and angst into beauty and empathy through their words and creations. This Cleo Wade truth on how to support each other. Mari Andrews words from early 2020 are still a salve I turn to often. Sarah Blondin is a voice I seek out for meditation, again and again. Dan Harris’ recent post offering Buddhist advice for dealing with tragedy + grief is a new practice I’m claiming in my days.
Our community helpers. At times like these, it’s easy to get lost in a bubble of isolation, and at times - that’s just what’s needed. But often, being in community, is the best solve for what ails us. Natalie Kuhn’s becoming the neighbor you’ll need is a great reminder this week on how to be a good neighbor. For me, I’m lucky enough to have a mighty community of family, friends, neighbors and helpers that I turn to often when my soul needs a boost.
Wherever you find helpers around you, it’s a brilliant reminder that we are never alone, that most people, by nature are good and helpful and compassionate to their core, and that hope and optimism are needed EVEN MORE in times of despair.
Thank you for sharing all of these thoughts. They hit hard, but I’m so glad they did. So grateful for you. ♥️
As a fellow perfectionist/planner/over thinker, these words hit home for me in so many ways! Thank you for sharing your heart Jill. Here’s to the helpers 🙏🏼